Alphabet Slop

You know that expression, ‘A.I. Slop,” referring to “Artificial Intelligence” making a wreck of your writing, or creating a mess all on its own, by using incorrect info or misunderstanding or misusing common expressions?

Well, the New York Times recently published a new online game, “Crossplay,” that is filled with what i call “Alphabet Slop.” It’s supposed to be a version of Scrabble, where you can play against the computer. (You can also play against real-life strangers, but i find that when you accept a “challenge” from one of these creatures, they take days or longer to respond, so i play only against the computer, whose responses are immediate.)

Anyway, here’s where the “Slop” comes in: Crossplay accepts crazy, seemingly random letters to form (often high-scoring) “words.” i have downloaded the Merriam-Webster Dictionary so i can check to see if i am insane, or illiterate, in believing some of these “words” are the product of some computer’s fevered cortex. A few of the “words” that were accepted in just the most recent game i played against Crossplay are:

Ka (this is actually in the dictionary, meaning the German (!) abbreviation for cathode ray)

Da (an abbreviation for the prefix “deka,” according to Merriam Webster)

ae (the Scottish word for “one”)

jota (not a word)

var (an abbreviation of “variant,” not a word)

kex (not a word)

orra (not a word)

za (this is supposedly slang for “pizza.” I have checked with three people under the age of 40, and none of them has ever heard of that “slang” word, much less used it …

… and my favorite, “mux” (not a word.)

It used to be that playing Scrabble could help improve your vocabulary: When your opponent played a word you didn’t know, you could just look it up and learn. With Crossplay, you watch in frustration as the automatic “scorekeeper” shows that “mux” has just earned the computer 81 points.

Soooo annoying! So why am i addicted to this goddamned game!?